4 POEMS ABOUT BI-POLAR WRITTEN DURING MANIA

 

By: Saoirse Love

 

 

1.) ON MY RETURN

 

 

 

 

 

 

Through other lives lived

And reclaimed

I find myself again here

Where the mad roam

 

Locked up

Doped up

In worlds designed by

Pharmaceutical Giants

 

My dignity is robbed

And I am divested of all my passions

Like an animal caged

I roar and smash

 

But it is too late for anger

So again

I WEEP

I WEEP

 

 

2.) RACING

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brain storm

Brain racing

Know not to believe

Thoughts telling me

I can do anything

 

Been here too long now

Not to trust my addled mind

As it betrays me

Time and again

 

ANGER

HATRED

RAGE AND FURY

 

A demon

Loose in my soul

Always there

Waiting

To come back

 

 

3.) THE DARKNESS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gathering all around

Enclosing me inside

Like a ruined walled castle garden

With no castle left to protect

 

Where am I?

What am I?

Are there others here?

No, I am alone

Nobody to come out and play

 

Mammy, mammy

Can Saoirse come out to play?

 

Where did they all go?

I see hundreds of faces

Flashing past

Turning into one

My own

 

I’m all that I’m here with

A child?

An adult?

Alone

In the darkness

 

Dark, dark days and nights

Becoming so small

I hardly recognize myself

A shell

A shriveled wreck

A half-person

 

4.) DYSPHORIA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RED

RED

RED

RED

 

Bursting through the calm

No moments to gather self

A full rush, the wave of

MANIA

 

An outpouring of VIOLENCE

RAGE

ABUSE

SHOUTING

AND WORSE

 

This one is the biggest curse

No signs

At the beginning

And once it starts

NOTHING

NOTHING

Can stop it

 

Until I burn out

And then floods of tears

But then it is always

TOO LATE

 

Bio: Saoirse Love

 

Saoirse Love is a disabled single mum with Bipolar 1, caring for a teenage child with Asperger’s Syndrome. 

She has worked for many years as a craft worker, prop maker, puppeteer, and artist in Dublin, Ireland. 

She is now writing poetry, short fiction, and memoir.

Saoirse is also published on Two Drops of Ink, for the Best 1000 Words for the Image Contest, discussing her experiences with a mental health condition. 

Her post on From Addict 2 Advocate is Lies of An Addict

 

When we share the experiences that drive us, we connect with others who can’t label the feelings, the thoughts, or discern the lessons. 

When you’re ready to share you message, consider a guest post. 

 

Writing, and recovery heals the heart. 

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3 thoughts on “4 POEMS ABOUT BI-POLAR WRITTEN DURING MANIA

  1. Dear hannah
    I am so touched that my poem has moved you, that is all a writer can hope for, that their words and experience will
    resonate with one person. one tries to write coming from the personal and touching the universal, experience of
    others. thank you so much for the compliment. on a more personal note, I truly hope with time you and your
    daughter make peace. it is very hard on the family when a member suffers with their mental health, and can easily
    tear all parties apart.. a tragic consequence is a big distance in the family. there are organisations, like AWARE that
    work with the whole family and try to heal the huge wounds caused by our..awful/ but not deliberate behaviour
    sometimes. I wish you much love luck and light.

  2. This poem is so accurate. It made me weep for my daughter. And for how I did not know what to do. I had no
    clue. That was years ago and now we talk sometimes on the phone. It is so difficult for the family. No one
    really understands what is going on. This poem tells it beautifully. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Dear hannah
      I am so touched that my poem has moved you, that is all a writer can hope for, that their words and experience will
      resonate with one person. one tries to write coming from the personal and touching the universal, experience of
      others. thank you so much for the compliment. on a more personal note, I truly hope with time you and your
      daughter make peace. it is very hard on the family when a member suffers with their mental health, and can easily
      tear all parties apart.. a tragic consequence is a big distance in the family. there are organisations, like AWARE that
      work with the whole family and try to heal the huge wounds caused by our..awful/ but not deliberate behaviour
      sometimes. I wish you much love luck and light.

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