As a child of, a wife of, a niece of, and probably a granddaughter of an alcoholic, I developed my own case of Alcoholism. My bottle did not contain liquor; it contained Worry and an assortment of other poisonous spirits that lured me into a wild-and-crazy way of dancing through my life.
When you learn to separate the various pieces of the puzzle, they become manageable pieces – to change, keep, or modify. This makes any overwhelming problem puzzle easier to solve.
Some family and friends never extend the same amount of trust because they simply will not put themselves in a vulnerable position again. The pain our addiction caused them is too much to forget so quickly.
Did I realize that I’d taken up arms against my children when I started using? No, I did not set out to harm them; however, that was the result. And just as the history books record the injustices done, each of my children recollects the harm from her perspective.
The success of your recovery depends on maintaining vigilance or awareness. You’ve worked hard to give up drugs and alcohol; that’s the getting into recovery. Unfortunately, some people get complacent or self-satisfied when they have accomplished a part of the whole. It’s rather like someone saying they want to eat some cake for dessert and then stopping with only the eggs and flour in the bowl, but saying, “Look, I’m making a cake. I think I’ll take a break.”
By: Marilyn L. Davis “I believe in recovery, and as a role model, I have the responsibility to let young people know that you can make a mistake and come back from it.” ― Ann Richards A Public Role Models for All of Us ___ ___ Ann Richards became the 45th governor of Texas. She appointed record numbers […]
I am not by nature a happy person. I’ve often said in a judgmental way that, “Happy is just one of the Seven Dwarfs.” But after he left our session, I decided to re-frame my perception. Rather than stating that I’m content and satisfied, I inserted happy about the circumstances in my life, happy about what I do for a living, happy with my relationships, and happy about my living environment.
By: Marilyn L. Davis “I’ve come to believe that in everyone’s life, there’s one undeniable moment of change, a set of circumstances that suddenly alters everything.” Nicholas Sparks ___ ____ Words of Wisdom about Change Are some of you wondering how often I can write about change? Get tired of me prattling on […]
People in my recovery support meetings said I had to look at myself, when that was the last thing I wanted to do. I disliked what I saw in a mirror, let alone go within to discover that I was like the Picture of Dorian Gray, presenting favorably to the world, but full of self-serving, self-centered, unhealthy characteristics, and a perception of evil inside. It was difficult to face, that much like Dorian, I had sold my soul to my addiction.
“If we get our self-esteem from superficial places, from our popularity, appearance, business success, financial situation, health, any of these, we will be disappointed, because no one can guarantee that we’ll have them tomorrow.” ~Kathy Ireland
Families develop a blind eye about the elephant in the room, and pretend that something so obvious as the neglect, abuse, or dysfunction do not exist. Recovering from these issues is as important as recovering from addiction.
Those feelings and thoughts about our life were held down rather like a jack-in-the-box – hidden away only by the mechanism of the box, or in the case of our addiction, by our use.
Take away the drugs and alcohol, and the feelings come flooding back, seemingly without rhyme or reason. However, emotional memory stores all those old feelings. They are still there.
Last night in the group, this same young man, said, “I’ve been doing bare-bones and haven’t used. I’m finally feeling better, I’ve made a few changes, and I’m being responsible and accountable to my family and my work, and I’m ready to leave the shore, Ms. Marilyn. Where to next?”
One of the problems with holding onto resentments is they no longer serve their purpose, much like the worn out shoes.
