For many addicts and alcoholics coming to terms with the puzzle of addiction – knowing they need to change and doing the complete opposite is frustrating and scary. However, the good news is that the barriers and objections are within you and that means you have the ability to change them. It’s just a matter of isolating them, examining them and then changing what doesn’t work or fit anymore.Read More
Ambivalence or of two minds happens when a person has both positive and negative feelings about someone or something and is struggling with deciding which option has more merit.
You’ll know you are ambivalent if you think conflicting thoughts about something, or hear yourself talking about a subject and then qualify it with a “but….”, “however…..”, or “on the other hand I think or feel……”.Read More
The reality is that change is going to feel painful, unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and uncertain. Too often people focus only on their pain, what they will have to go through to change, without reflecting on the pain that their actions have caused loved ones and friends.Read More
“When we make progress quickly, it feeds our emotions. Then, when there’s a period of waiting or we hit a plateau, we find out how committed we really are and whether we’re going to see things through to the finish or quit.” Joyce MeyerRead More
It is when we cannot see that changes are going to make our life better or that we will feel better because of the modification, we often balk, resist, or create obstacles to change. We give into fears, discuss how difficult it is to change, and create excuses so we don’t have to change.Read More
In one of my first lectures in treatment, I kept hearing about the spiritual principles that I needed to incorporate into my recovery. For the principles listing on the sign-up sheet, I falsely assumed that I’d go to a dimly lit room, with incense wafting and cloistered monks reading from musty, dusty tomes. I hoped that they would enlighten me and give me ancient wisdom on how to change.
Instead, I learned from recovering people like myself in recovery support meetings.Read More
For most of us, we’re afraid when we think about changing the patterns of our lives, whether it’s giving up drugs or alcohol, or changing the way we think, feel, and act. After all, we have done or been something for so long that those actions, behaviors, thoughts, and feelings are mechanical or habituated. These predictable actions are the norm, and when we leave the comfort zone, we get anxious.Read More
How convenient and dishonest to say that all the harmful things I did to people were in my use. Then I could blame my behaviors, attitudes and actions on a substance, not the shadow aspects of myself or my character defects. Although my use distorted my thinking, behaviors, and attitudes, it was the shadow aspects or myself and my character defects that fueled my actions as much as my use.Read More