From Addiction to Recovery: Negative to Positive

It wasn’t that I had the delusions and hallucinations of the schizophrenic, or the manic episodes of the bipolar sufferer.  I had a condition that would have me seek to put a pill bottle or a pipe in my hand like magnetism.  I had a mentality that weighed incarceration and a lack of real employability as acceptable risks.  The benefit of temporary sanity and calm that came from booze and dope had made all the pitfalls worth it.

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from addict 2 advocate feelings marilyn l davis

Recovery: All the Numbed Feelings Pop Back Up

Those feelings and thoughts about our life were held down rather like a jack-in-the-box – hidden away only by the mechanism of the box, or in the case of our addiction, by our use.

Take away the drugs and alcohol, and the feelings come flooding back, seemingly without rhyme or reason. However, emotional memory stores all those old feelings. They are still there.

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What Does It Mean to ‘Look at Yourself’ in Recovery?

People in my recovery support meetings said I had to look at myself, when that was the last thing I wanted to do. I disliked what I saw in a mirror, let alone go within to discover that I was like the Picture of Dorian Gray, presenting favorably to the world, but full of self-serving, self-centered, unhealthy characteristics, and a perception of evil inside. It was difficult to face, that much like Dorian, I had sold my soul to my addiction.

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