By: Marilyn Davis
Other People Had a Goal in 1988
“Goals are the road maps that guide you to your destination. Cultivate the habit of setting clearly defined written goals; they are the road maps that guide you to your destination.”― Roy T. Bennett,
In 1988, my employer sent me to drug and alcohol treatment and was adamant that I receive help. During the intervention, they all had a goal – get me to agree to treatment. They were also encouraging me to make every effort to be successful. I think it was this combination of boundaries on my behaviors while still demonstrating faith that I had the resolve, discipline, and desire to receive the help that allowed this intervention to work.
Finding my First Goal in Recovery
If my boss at Brenau University was the only one setting a goal, it probably would not have worked. My primary counselor told us on the first day, “If you want recovery, make it your goal. Build on whatever incentive you have for treatment, make significant changes in your thoughts, behaviors, and learn to process your feelings, because, with each of these actions, you get closer to your goal.”
She then cautioned us that this couldn’t just be a goal established by her, a sponsor, family or other people involved in our lives, it had to be our goal. I could state that I wanted recovery, but didn’t think to make it a goal. But by making it a goal, I was able to stay in treatment.
Goals and sub-goals help us get what we want in life. Certainly, I had other goals, before my addiction took them away. Many of these improved my life, whether it was education, financial security, career, or better relationships with family and friends; those I could see as a goal.
With some of them, I mapped out specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-targeted goals and sub-goals, or S.M.A.R.T goals, first mentioned in the November 1981 issue of Management Review by George T. Doran.
However, it was not until I made recovery a goal in 1988, did I start to attach the principles of goal and sub-goal setting to it.
Want a better opportunity for a lucrative job? Then you know that you need either a college degree or specialized training to help this goal.
Applying S.M.A.R.T. To My Recovery
All of these goals take incremental actions to define and bring about your stated goal.
My first goal for recovery was, “Don’t Use” I then set up the sub-goals for accomplishing that goal each day:
- Specific: Remain abstinent
- Measurable: Employer mandated drug screen results
- Achievable: Yes, do not use
- Realistic: Yes, if I do not use
- Time-targeted: Will be screened weekly
I had very clear expectations of myself: Do not use. I would also enjoy continued employment with this goal satisfied, so remaining abstinent facilitated other goals, such as financial independence and better buying power as I called it.
I knew that viewing this goal in a semi-frivolous way much like the resolutions people create on New Year’s Day would not work. Habits and addictions take years to form and the early stages of change are the times that most people relapse.
By making my goal of abstinence time-specific and then beginning to extend the time, I was able to next realize a month in recovery, then another, and finally a year. It was at this point that I started measuring and adjusting my recovery goal to include internal reasons and not just the external benefits of keeping my job.
The Emotional Side of Goal Setting
The emotional side of accomplishing goals is personal. Some people, process on the positive side and view a four-year commitment to getting a degree as a way to make sure they could get a better job at the end of their four-year education.
Other people belabor the time they have to spend just getting ready to get a job. Motivation, incentive, and reason are driven by positive and negative emotions, attitudes and actions. For some people, the bottom and the associated feelings of low self-worth, guilt and shame prompt a wish to change for the better and to receive better outcomes.
For others, the bottom gives them a sense of relief; they have been caught and change is going to produce different and better outcomes.
It does not matter which side of the coin you are on if changing for the better is your goal.
How Can You Get Help for Your Recovery Goals?Each person finds their method for reaching their goal of recovery. However, having knowledgeable, supportive people help direct us to our goal of recovery is usually more productive and less time-consuming than going it alone. Click To Tweet
There are more approaches to helping people than when I got into recovery almost 29 years ago. There is 12 Step based, faith-based, and secular approaches to help people recover from substance abuse. These approaches work for those people who adhere to the fundamental philosophy for each type of Recovery Supportive meeting.
When you find a Recovery Supportive meeting that genuinely and authentically mimics your beliefs about recovery, you will get encouragement, guidance, support, and friendships. These, in turn, will help you stay focused on your goal of recovery.
What are Your Recovery Goals for 2018?
“The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting a goal. Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down – as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose.”― Melody Beattie –
Let me know in a comment what your recovery goals are and how you’re doing with them. They might be something I need to add to mine. Thanks.
Writing, and recovery heals the heart.