Shattered, Tattered, and Battered
Recovery begins with us completely broken! That is not an understatement, either. I was barely breathing I was so broken when I finally gave into recovery, just as so many others out there are trying to fight for their lives.
As we wonder in those first few days, what will this new life entail and where do we begin? We being where all others have – reminding ourselves that we do not want to keep killing ourselves. That first uncomfortable step is admitting to yourself that you have a problem.
We’re shattered, tattered, and battered enough. We realize that recovery is the only answer left.
Picking Up the Pieces
Right we get that. Nevertheless, how do we begin?
Do we just walk into an NA or AA meeting and tell our story? Do we sit in the back of the room and quietly listen to those old timers sharing their hopes with the other newcomers and think that is enough? Most of us have been alone so long we have almost forgotten what it is like to interact with people, in a social environment.
Maybe Rehab has crossed your mind because merely going to meetings never worked before, but how do you find a rehab that will take you now. Then there is that annoying point of how will you pay for it?
Most of us are broken, emotionally, mentally, and physically. We rarely have insurance, so we head back to the rooms. You can successfully achieve recovery this way if you want it bad enough.
Can I Every Be Whole Again?
If you are asking yourself any of these questions, you are on the right track.
Most of us do genuinely have to be broken entirely before, we can let go. Surrendering to the solution of recovery is the only answer.
Total surrender must include an acknowledgment that the old life is not the place you want to be any longer. Then dig deep to find the commitment and follow through to stay the course. You will be so happy that you did, as this game of life or death plays out. Addiction is only there to destroy you, by now you most likely have come to that decision all on your own.
Accept that relapsing is going to give you a lot more of the same ol’ thing, a life you must truly be tired of living. The pain, destruction and negative effects on your life and body have really taken their toll on you, and this is something you must know deep in your soul.
Most of us lived on the merry-go-round of addiction, recovery, and relapse for way too long. Make today the day you reclaim your life.
Yes, the detoxing is going to be difficult in many ways. The physical changes you will go through as your body frees itself of all the toxins in your system will bring days of mental agony as you fight the addiction calling to you to stop the pain you are physically going through. Know that this will pass. place will pass.
Will You Break Again?
You tell yourself “But hold on its going to get better,” and it will. I promise.
Your commitment must be strong this time as you fight for your new life and to find the person you were always meant to be.
However, getting off the drugs is not going to be the hard part. The hard part is dealing with the why of it all. That thing you spent years running from and now you must trust that you are ready to face it. As the excitement fills you in those early weeks and you begin to heal you will see a healthy you coming back, family and friends will too as they wish you well and telling you how happy you look and seem to be now.
This is the place where building that new support system around you is vital. This is why any recovery expert will tell you to do 90 meetings in 90 days.
Get a sponsor and use them, find someone you are comfortable with calling in the middle of the night because you just can’t sleep.
Healing you and understanding the reasons you began using in the first place is going to be important. Working the Steps with a sponsor helps you with this process. They act as a guide having done the work themselves.
Examining the Pieces to Understand
This 4th step self-discovery will be painful and scary though when you have faced all those demons in the light of recovery and not the darkness of addiction, you will grow stronger. You’ll have more understanding of why you used.
Through time and patience, you will begin to heal, the uncomfortable and unfamiliar world will become just a little less scary or strange. As you take on new goals and build new things into your life happiness will follow, the lightness of your new life will begin to fill you in all that you do each day.
By working thru the steps, you’ll work through those emotions and began to heal, this process is something to look forward to and not run from, it does work. People spend hours and years in therapy to come to this same place of finding out why life went off track.
Mending the Shattered Pieces
A healed life takes on new colors and sounds, good things began to grow in you. Things you never believed you were capable of, this new world builds a life in front of you. It almost seems like you are watching from some vantage point up high, looking down at a happy new you. Some days it will be overwhelming just how much you have changed.
This rebuilt life is worth every struggle, doubt, and negativity you endured. That person in the mirror reflects all that you have missed for so long, and now you couldn’t be prouder of this new you. Click To Tweet
As the years pass, you may still be fixing the wreckage of that past life. It will take time, especially where the family is concerned. Just know deep inside that nothing from the past can be changed, so continue to focus on the world in front of you and never look back.
Trust in yourself and be confident in the new you, remember to tell yourself
“I am proud of the new me!”
Author Bio: T. Rose
Internationally Published Author of: The Big Trap…Just one last High
2018 NA Regional Convention — Speaker
2018 Author Academy Awards — Nominee
Recovery Advocate and Speaker
16 years in recovery
Writing, and recovery heals the heart
Someone needs you to shine a light and give them hope. When you’re ready to share your experiences with addiction and recovery, consider a guest post.