By: C. W. Stratton
The Baggage We Bring to Recovery
“Everyone has baggage, maybe we should help each other carry it.” ― Rob Liano
There are so many facets and perspectives to the process of recovery. Something that’s consistently heard and relayed is the concept of “don’t use and go to a meeting”. This outwardly sounds like a simple concept or easy task. Considering everyone has the ability to follow this simple task, we should have many more recovering people in the world.
Maybe this isn’t as simple as many perceive. Is it time we considered why this is true?
There are a significant number of people who come into the process with a tremendous amount of baggage. These bags are huge and haven’t been opened in quite some time. The carrying of the bags is not only painful, many of the things enclosed are painful as well. In other words, the pain is doubled and even sometimes tripled, depending on the circumstances. There are things in the bags that the person either forgot about or are afraid to expose.
That Baggage is a Heavy Burden
As a result, the person carries the things around day-after-day, month-after-month, and year-after-year; with no relief in sight. Along the journey, the person places more things in the bags and the number of bags gradually increases. The bags have prevented them making any progress towards their goals and dreams.
At some point, you would imagine that the person would either let-go of the baggage or find relief. Lauren Kate in Fallen sums it up, “People are here because they’ve got baggage. I’m talking curbside-check-in, pay-the-fine-’cause-it’s-over-fifty-pounds kind of baggage. Get it?”
Since much of the baggage is fairly ingrained in the individual’s everyday life, they seek relief or refuge from what’s been weighing them down. That relief has come in the form of drugs, alcohol, etc. These things acted as a pain reliever along the way and provided temporary relief.
The baggage being carried contain so many things:
*Untreated mental illness
*Lack of self-confidence
*Ideas of not fitting in (anywhere)
I Just Wanted to Lighten the Load
For some of us, the idea of carrying one or two of the above seems like a heavy burden.
Now, think about carrying all of this around on a daily basis; you may end up seeking some form of relief as well. That person who carries these bags into recovery may feel they are at a disadvantage when it comes to being successful or attempting to create space for long-term recovery.
This tends to create an obstacle to hearing the clear message and being able to actually apply the concepts.
We Add to their Emotional Baggage with Judgement
There are those instances where you see that person who’s always in and out of meeting or recovery. These people are often carrying a lot of emotional baggage. They just don’t seem to be able to grasp the overall process. What tends to happen is people judge their recovery:
*The aren’t serious or committed to recovery.
*They’re just playing the game.
*They have no true desire to stop.
*They’re trying to do this on their own terms.
*I don’t trust him/her.
When we pass judgement, we create more baggage for the person to carry around. The New Comer is supposed to be the most important person, so why would we add more baggage to their already cluttered life. This is not to say this happens consistently or across the board, but we must acknowledge and bring awareness to this when it does occur.
We Can’t Just Say the Words But Live the Words
Power is in numbers. Meaning that we as a group are powerful and the group’s messages are significant, especially for the New Comer. As a group of people, we are very resourceful and full of knowledge. Not that we are all experts when it comes to helping people address issues of trauma, low self-esteem, grief/loss, etc. However, collectively we have the means to point people in the proper direction to discuss some of their underlying issues.
The person comes to the rooms with so much weighing them down and they are seeking a way out from under the rubble. We should help them find the resources to heal.
The concepts that many of us are aware of and the ones that have been memorized must actually be put into activation; not just directed towards the struggling person, they must be applied to ourselves as well.
Recall a time when you were struggling and couldn’t see a way out. That was a terrifying time and all you wanted was relief or help from someone.
Being able to be compassionate and caring to someone struggling could make a difference in a person living or dying.
Help with the Unpacking
Recovery is a beautiful process that has brought many people back to life; meaning they are living now, not just existing. Being able to give help to the person carrying all that emotional baggage is helpful to our recovery, too.
We don’t take the bags and carry them for the person because that would hinder our own forward progress. We use the group and access the available resources to aid us.
Some of us still have a couple of bags that we are still dealing with on your own. There are bags that may linger for years due to the nature of the issue or the damage our actions caused.
However, we must keep those bags at the forefront and not neglect our responsibility in addressing what’s enclosed. As we move forward in recovery, we become more open, informed, committed, sincere and resilient. These are things that can create more space for long-term recovery.
Stop Holding On to the Baggage!
Remaining open to suggestions and following them are critical. Many people may hold on to the old ways of thinking when it comes to recovery; just don’t use and go to meetings is all you need to know.
However, our society and practices have evolved in so many ways; of course the original literature is valid and will never be disputed. Our train of thought and ways of doing things to reach more people should take an outside the box approach.
The statement “sick and suffering” should hold a tremendous amount of weight when we are trying to conger up ways to help the person. If we are sick; if it be spiritually, emotionally or physically, we must be connected with the proper people that can possibly nurse us back to health.
We must not be afraid, ashamed or embarrassed to seek outside help. This help could settle the muffling that all the baggage has created so we can hear the message clearly to actually apply the concepts and principles of recovery.
When You Unpack, Don’t Add another Bag
- Provide other forms of relief to the person:
- Lend an ear to listen
- Offer words of encouragement
- If you know of additional counseling or therapy to help them, let them know where
“If God meant for us to carry baggage around, he would have made our skin have little pouches like kangaroos. Or maybe he would have just made it so that each and every one of us was born with huge- ass shoulders to carry the load. Clearly, we weren’t made to carry the weight of the world, kinda makes you wonder why we do it anyway, huh?” ― Rachel Van Dyken, Toxic
This is a process of one addict/alcoholic helping another without parallel. Let’s give assistance in diminishing the baggage and clutter that all people come with in their early recovery.
Writing, and recovery heals the heart.
Craig W. Stratton MS, ASCAS
Combining his passions with a purpose is one of his goals. He has worked to help marginalized populations understand their addictions and introduce them to the benefits of recovery, as a Case Manager for the homeless, and those in Drug Treatment Court.
He has also counseled adolescents, adults, and couples over the last 14 years in various agencies, and worked extensively on Alternatives to Incarceration, to offer treatment and not incarceration for nonviolent offenders.
Craig is an Adjunct Professor at Hudson Valley Community College, where he brings his personal experience of 17 years in recovery as well as his education to his students, ensuring that the next generation of substance abuse counselors understand knowledge of addiction, but more importantly, know a representative of the addicted population.
Bringing this human element to his classes, advocates for recovery and will help remove the stigmas and myths associated with faceless addicts. His unique perspective on various aspects of recovery besides not using is another of Craig’s strengths. For more posts that will positively influence your recovery, here’s a link to Craig’s blog.