By: Marilyn L. Davis
Barriers and Obstacles Within Us
A number of self-defeating attitudes, actions, and behaviors will prevent us from being successful in our recovery. They create barriers and obstacles within us that prevent us from recovering. We come into recovery with these and often continue to use them in our early recovery. But it’s not just early recovery. These barriers and obstacles may also resurface if we become complacent in our recovery or start reverting to old patterns.
We’ve stated that we want to recover, but still not take advantage of the opportunity. Some of our reasons for not taking advantage are:
- We believe we know what to do to recover.
- It’s been difficult in the past.
- Too many people tell us what to do.
- There’s shame in discussing personal aspects with strangers.
The reality is that each of those are the personal obstacles and barriers that people create and don’t recover. I think that Stephan Labossiere sums it up well, “Many times, we are our worst enemy. If we could learn to conquer ourselves, then we will have a much easier time overcoming the obstacles that are in front of us.”
Negative Attitudes Create Barriers and Obstacles
Before any action is the thought, and the thought is part of our attitude. When we combine a negative attitude with feelings of indifference, distrust, boredom, and dislike, this combination creates strong barriers and obstacles to our recovery. What are some negative attitudes about recovery?
- People should not expect us to change so many aspects of ourselves.
- No one should not expect us to change so quickly.
- We’re seeing progress; why isn’t that enough?
- Those other people at meetings are different from us.
- Why can’t we keep your old friends and hang out with them?
- Some events in addiction were fun; why don’t people understand that?
- Our life “was not so bad.”
- There are personal reasons that we’re unwilling and close-minded.
- Doing all that inner work is discouraging.
- When we look at ourselves, it’s depressing.
- All this inner work creates stress.
Each of these positions can prove harmful to our recovery. We may also realize that we have to quit lying, stop embellishing the facts, or minimizing our shortcomings. When we realize that our self-defeating behaviors are not working, we can get angry, and start arguing that no one understands us. We have always been this way and changing old attitudes, actions, and feelings about situations is hard.
Common Barriers and Obstacles: Someone Has an Answer
The good news is that none of the barriers and obstacles above is new. Many of us experienced them in both our early recovery and when we got complacent. These internal barriers and obstacles are very common and predictable. When we find ourselves in any of these predictable positions, realize that these thoughts, attitudes, and feelings happen to everyone at some point in their recovery.
One of the most important aspects of the recovery process is that you do not have to have all the answers to your problems. A common statistic is that 1 in 10 Americans are in recovery. That equates to 23 million people who have found solutions and in many cases, are willing to share their suggestions and directions with the rest of us.
Where Can I Find Solutions to my Barriers and Obstacles?
For any other problem, we typically Google our search. For recovery, it’s no different. We can search for:
- Facebook, LinkedIn, or Google Plus communities that offer recovery related posts
- Information on how to recover
- Recovery Support Meetings in our area
- Subscribe to an Addiction and Recovery Blog
- Therapists that specialize in addiction, codependency, or trauma
Part of the problem is that most of us are hesitant to discuss our lives with strangers. This is yet another internal barrier to getting better.
If we think about how most of us feel if we’re helpful to someone, we get out of our ego and realize that those people helping us when we ask a question, aren’t better than us, or we’re less than them; they are just like us and passing on what was given to them.
When you make changes in your life, it’s your turn to help someone else in overcoming their barriers and obstacles to recovery.
Writing, and recovery heals the heart