By: Marilyn L. Davis
Analysis paralysis, or over-thinking happens to a lot of us in early recovery. We realize how many poor decisions we made, and then experienced negative results and outcomes. We’re consumed with our past behaviors and poor choices and spend a lot of time thinking about those events.
We falsely believe that the right option is to analyze all aspects of each situation.
Then we feel so overwhelmed by all the possibilities and options, that we end up doing nothing, or seek relief from the feelings with a relapse.
Thinking About Our Past
Owning our past behaviors and poor choices doesn’t do much for self-esteem and confidence, however, if we’re going to start making better decisions, we’ve got to look at the past to learn from our mistakes.
Exploring our past and looking for self-defeating patterns of behaviors is valuable, but only analyzing and not taking actions to correct these patterns of behavior keeps us stuck, and that means we can’t live forward.
Recovery gives us second chances and sequels, which means we have the opportunity to make better choices and experience different outcomes. My mentor told me that when I had too many options and did pros and cons on them, and still couldn’t find the right solution – do nothing for 24 hours, but be mindful that an answer would show itself if I were genuinely seeking one. That advice gave me breathing room.
Breathing Room to Make Better Choices
Like most of us in our addiction, desperation fueled many of my decisions. In my early recovery, I wanted to make decisions based on sounder judgment. When I looked at all the options, I would also assign a value to them from a spiritual standpoint and often found the answer. It was comforting to know that I didn’t have to have all the solutions at once, and could tackle another issue in my life.
I also created the illusion that each decision had to be right and perfect. That wasn’t the case. However, I learned:
- Making a mistake wasn’t a failure. As long as I didn’t keep repeating the same patterns of poor choices, I was moving forward in my life.
- Researching my options was demonstrating good judgment.
- Being prepared to do something didn’t mean I felt “ready” to do it.
- Being uncomfortable making new choices was part of the process.
- Judgment was greatly enhanced when I wasn’t using.
- Setting unrealistic expectations for the outcomes was a waste of time.
Hammer or Screwdriver? That’s Always the Choice
If the outcomes are not exactly what I want, I can change the approach, ask more knowledgeable people, revise the plan or set a different goal. I’m no longer living my life in an endless cycle of poor choices and adverse outcomes.
I still make incorrect choices, but not as often.
I may still take two steps forward, one back, and sometimes, one sideways, but at the end of the week, I’m farther along than I was or if I had not made any decisions at all and followed through with an action.
And in my opinion, that’s progress. I’ll take it. How about you?
Writing, and recovery heals the heart.
What recovery lessons would you like to share? There’s someone out there who needs your message. Consider a guest post today.