By: Marilyn L. Davis “Accept that the addiction exists not because of yourself, but in spite of yourself. You did not come into life asking to be programmed this way. It’s not personal to you—millions of others with similar experiences have developed the same mechanisms. What is personal to you is how you […]
By: Marilyn L. Davis “Be wise enough not to be reckless, but brave enough to take great risks.” ― Frank Warre Who and What to Avoid Counselors, therapists, and supportive friends, all caution about avoiding people, places, and situations that prompt us to think about using. While these external triggers are powerful, […]
That’s the thing about reacting. Often it’s when we don’t feel in control of a situation, or we have predicted the outcome before it happens. But I had to find a solution, or I’d explode on someone else, or implode and feel crappy.
When people have clarity, there is no question that using drugs and alcohol are self-defeating. However, when we are in the grips of our addiction, we do not see reality. Many of us require a caring intervention by others to understand just how much harm we have inflicted, the damage to our relationships, and to know that there are still people willing to help.
If you think about this logically, anyone that “falls in love” with you early in your recovery is getting involved with a person that you are trying to change. Therefore, you would have to stay the same to sustain the relationship, and that would be the exact opposite of what you are trying to accomplish in yo
For most of us, we’re afraid when we think about changing the patterns of our lives, whether it’s giving up drugs or alcohol, or changing the way we think, feel, and act. After all, we have done or been something for so long that those actions, behaviors, thoughts, and feelings are mechanical or habituated. These predictable actions are the norm, and when we leave the comfort zone, we get anxious.
Our barriers are self-imposed for the most part. That’s both good and bad news. Good because it’s an attitude within us, and therefore, we can change it. However, that’s the downside, too as most of us don’t like to feel uncomfortable in our life choices
To break down associations, identify who the person reminds you of; then make a conscious effort to not filter the message by the association or past connection.
By: Marilyn L. Davis Are You Behaving Like a King or Queen in Early Recovery? “Little by little, the old world crumbled, and not once did the king imagine that some of the pieces might fall on him.” ― Jennifer Donnelly, Revolution Many addicts and alcoholics create the false belief […]
One aspect of joining these groups and attending meetings is that if the orientation, value, and support are what you need to shore up your foundation in recovery, most have a free course or instructional format for starting a meeting in your area.
Start your day by isolating your negative emotions and the fears beneath them. Next, create a calming statement and test how you feel about the situation after you write your calming statement. Do this for 30 days and see if you don’t see a difference in how you regulate your fears. Here are some examples to get you started.
I could not dissipate those feelings and was alone in my armor with them. It was an insidious trap. However, most of us who are semi-delusional from our use, do not understand that while we think we’re protecting ourselves, we are also preventing ourselves from receiving help.
“Abuse manipulates and twists a child’s natural sense of trust and love. Her innocent feelings are belittled or mocked, and she learns to ignore her feelings. She can’t afford to feel the full range of feelings in her body while she’s being abused—pain, outrage, hate, vengeance, confusion, arousal. So she short-circuits them and goes numb.”
“It’s about making a list of all the people you’ve harmed, either emotionally, physically or financially, and going back and making amends. That’s a spiritual lifestyle. It’s not a fluffy ethereal concept.” ― Anthony Kiedis, lead singer, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and author of Scar Tissue
But that’s the cycle of addiction.
Rather than be trapped in the loop of addiction, travel that road again and see what you missed on the first trip.
