By: Marilyn Davis

Other People Had a Goal in 1988

In 1988, my employer sent me to drug and alcohol treatment and was adamant that I receive help. During the intervention, they all had a goal – get me to agree to treatment. They were also encouraging me to make every effort to be successful. I think it was this combination of boundaries on my behaviors while still demonstrating faith that I had the resolve, discipline, and desire to receive the help that allowed this intervention to work.

Finding my First Goal in Recovery

If my boss at Brenau University was the only one setting a goal, it probably would not have worked. My primary counselor told us on the first day, “If you want recovery, make it your goal.” She then cautioned us that this couldn’t just be a goal established by her, a sponsor, family or other people involved in our lives, it had to be our goal. I could state that I wanted recovery, but didn’t think to make it a goal. But by making it a goal, I was able to stay in treatment.

Getting There the Old-fashioned Way

Goals and sub-goals help us get what we want in life.  Certainly, I had other dreams and aspirations, before my addiction took them away. Many of these improved my life, whether it was education, financial security, career, or better relationships with family and friends; those I could see as a goal.

With some of them, I mapped out specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-targeted actions, or S.M.A.R.T goals, first mentioned in the November 1981 issue of Management Review by George T. Doran. However, it was not until I made recovery a goal in 1988, did I start to attach the principles of S.M.A.R.T.

We carry out recovery as a goal, much like any other.  Want a new car or house and cannot simply write a check?  Then you know that you will have to save money to get it. Want a better opportunity for a lucrative job?  Then you know that you need either a college degree or specialized training to help this goal.

Applying S.M.A.R.T. To My Recovery

All of these goals take incremental actions to define and bring about your stated goal.

My first goal for recovery was, “Don’t Use” I then set up the sub-goals for accomplishing that goal each day:

1. Specific: Remain abstinent
2. Measurable: Employer mandated drug screen results
3. Achievable: Yes, do not use
4. Realistic: Yes, if I do not use
5. Time-targeted: Will be screened weekly

Encouraging Ourselves

I had very clear expectations of myself: Do not use. I would also enjoy continued employment with this goal satisfied, so remaining abstinent facilitated other positive outcomes in my life, such as financial independence and better buying power as I called it.

I knew that viewing this goal in a semi-frivolous way much like the resolutions people create on New Year’s Day would not work.  Habits and addictions take years to form and the early stages of change are the times that most people relapse.

By making my goal of abstinence time-specific and then beginning to extend the time, I was able to next realize a month in recovery, then another, and finally a year. It was at this point that I started measuring and adjusting my recovery goal to include internal reasons and not just the external benefits of keeping my job. 

The Emotional Side of Goal Setting

The emotional side of accomplishing goals is personal.  Some people, process on the positive side and view a four-year commitment to getting a degree as a way to make sure they could get a better job at the end of their four-year education.

Other people belabor the time they have to spend just getting ready to get a job. Motivation, incentive, and reason are driven by positive and negative emotions, attitudes and actions. For some people, the bottom and the associated feelings of low self-worth, guilt and shame prompt a wish to change for the better and to receive better outcomes.

For others, the bottom gives them a sense of relief; they have been caught and change is going to produce different and better outcomes.

It does not matter which side of the coin you are on if changing for the better is your goal.

How Can You Get Help for Your Recovery Goals?

There are more approaches to helping people than when I got into recovery almost 29 years ago. There is 12 Step based, faith-based, and secular approaches to help people recover from substance abuse. These approaches work for those people who adhere to the fundamental philosophy for each type of Recovery Supportive meeting.

What are Your Recovery Goals for 2018? 

“The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting a goal. Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down – as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose.”― Melody Beattie – The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency

Another way to stay focused on your goals is to read meditation books that reinforce your desire to achieve long-term recovery.  But I know that you have ways that keep you focused as well. Let me know in a comment what your recovery goals are and how you’re doing with them. They might be something I need to add to mine. Thanks.

Writing, and recovery heals the heart.

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