By: Marilyn L. Davis
When It Seems Like Progress Stops
“When we make progress quickly, it feeds our emotions. Then, when there’s a period of waiting, or we hit a plateau, we find out how committed we really are and whether we’re going to see things through to the finish or quit.” Joyce Meyer
For many people in recovery, there is a plateau at about nine months. Sometimes it’s emotional, and feelings begin to level out. Without these chaotic feelings, people sometimes misinterpret this as boredom.
For others, they start judging whether they are getting enough rewards for their inner work. While they are glad that the emotions have finally stabilized and they have better jobs and relationships, they don’t understand why it feels like something is missing some days.
They are going to meetings, discovering things about themselves, making changes, and yet, they become increasingly impatient for more.
They forget to be appreciative that their family is a little more trusting; that they are making new friends and have social outlets that do not revolve around their use, and the cops aren’t chasing them.
One of the reasons that we pick up chips, medallions, and other markers is that they represent people’s time in recovery. That recognition is essential. Those chips or medallions are reminders that give an incentive and can confirm hard work. But our recovery is more than just a medallion or chip, but for some people, the chips, improved relationships, and better opportunities aren’t enough, and they hit a plateau and go back out.
Plateaus in recovery often separate those who have gotten clean to avoid consequences and those who are authentically embracing recovery.
Plateaus Give Us Time to Take Stock
For those who got into recovery to satisfy others or an authority, many of the early restrictions are not hanging over their heads. They are getting along with their family, the boss has moved on to other problems, and even their Probation Officer seems more helpful. Unfortunately, progress in isolated areas are only one indicator that things are going well in recovery.
So which are you at this point? Is it a time to recommit to lifelong recovery and accept that there will be ups and downs, frantic and stable periods, or that some days, life, not just recovery, is tedious.
Sometimes questions help us reflect on our circumstances. One way to think about where you are in your recovery is to answer some simple questions:
- How chaotic was your life before you got into recovery?
- Are you taking advantage of all the opportunities to grow in your recovery?
- Do you need to rate or re-evaluate your goals and sub-goals for recovery?
- Do you need to give yourself credit for the progress so far?
- Are you discussing your feelings with trusted people?
- Does your attitude reflect your gratitude?
- Are you on slippery ground with some of your thinking?
- Do you need to discuss these feelings of a void or too full of feelings with someone?
Plateaus: Not Just in Recovery
These plateaus are going to happen for everyone, not just in recovery, but in many occupations. For instance, the person who won’t have a vacation for another year and they feel bored and trapped in their job, or someone who cannot get a promotion in their present position or receive training for another year. These people will have to do the same thing every day for another year.
Alternatively, many students wonder why all this emphasis on the history of any country when they are a math major. They get hung up on the fact that they could be finished in two years instead of four. But the school requires them to study certain things before they can move into their major classes. We sometimes do not understand nor value what we are learning in the day-to-day, routine experiences until we have done something foolish and sacrificed them.
We are not running a race with a distinct finish line when we are in recovery, nor are we running in circles completing nothing. It's more of a cross-country course, with ups and downs, and plateaus. Click To Tweet
Stop and Enjoy the Calm Moments of the Plateau
These lulls in our recovery also allow us time to prepare for the bumps in the road or an uphill climb to carry out our next recovery goal. Reflection during plateaus let us see where we’ve been. We have lessons to learn that are unique, special, and distinct for all of us. We need to understand these lessons so we can move forward.
Plateaus: Time to Plan
A plateau also provides us with time to rejuvenate and be ready for the next hurdle or obstacle. Sometimes people trap themselves into judging their recovery progress by what others are accomplishing, and doing this can set up jealousies, resentments, or feelings of inadequacy. “Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly” is part of many readings at recovery support meetings, and it is true.
How long it takes you to repair the damages to your life from your use will differ from others. However, comparing yourself will only net you dissatisfaction in your progress or give you an overly inflated sense of importance.
View the plateaus of your recovery for what they are: a phase in mental or physical development during which you don’t think you’re making much headway.
Plateaus: Time to Peacefully Reflect
That plateau may just be a time to reflect, be peaceful, and express appreciation for the journey. Reflection allows us to see how far we have come in our recovery. However, it is not the end, but merely one more stepping-stone to greater rewards in our recovery.
These plateaus give us the time, not just to reflect but to energize us to move forward with our lives and our recovery. Each step forward gives us extra opportunities to find a broader range of behaviors that will provide us with better outcomes.
We do not linger long at the plateau, yet seek to enjoy it and move on.
Writing, and recovery heals the heart.
When you’re ready to share your recovery story, consider a guest post for From Addict 2 Advocate.