By: Marilyn L. Davis

 

 

Are You Behaving Like a King or Queen in Early Recovery? 

 

“Little by little, the old world crumbled, and not once did the king imagine that some of the pieces might fall on him.” ― Jennifer DonnellyRevolution

 

 

 

In our addiction, we think we are entitled to rule, govern, and control situations and others, even while our life is spiraling out of control from our use. Click To Tweet 

 

Many addicts and alcoholics create the false belief that the world revolves around them in their use. Now, you’re in early recovery and realize that others will control many of the choices in your life. There will be counselors, peers, family, sponsors, and friends who have opinions about how you need to govern your life now.  

There will be agencies, either judicial for yourself or those who monitor your children for some of you. Probation, Parole, and Family and Children’s Service organizations will all have a say in what changes or modifications they need to see to ensure that you are staying in recovery. 

 

Entitlement Issues that Get You Negative Results

 

Before you get resentments or are dismissive of all these suggestions and directions, think about your attitudes and see if they might not show your entitlement, which is the belief that you should control or decide how things work best. 

Entitled people believe that they have the right to special consideration, privileges, or only doing what they want without their actions’ likely consequences. See if these statements describe your attitudes in your recovery.

 

 

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How Was the World When You Ruled It? 

 

You could probably rule your world if you’ve shown people that you could, but if you’re like the rest of us, our worlds were falling apart in our addiction. We tried to control people and situations, but without accountability. If we look at our lives objectively, we see that things did not run smoothly when we ruled the world. 

How many of us had: 

  • Strained relationships due to our use
  • Difficulty meeting necessary financial obligations
  • Manipulative behaviors and tried to rule the actions of others.
  • Family and friends that we stole from to facilitate our use
  • Unreliable, disrespectful, and dishonesty behaviors

If those descriptors of chaotic behaviors sound like your life in your use, then maybe it is time to let go of the reins of power. Step down from the throne and let others decide what is in your best interest. Click To Tweet

  

Take a Vacation from Ruling

 

Even kings and queens take vacations. They let others rule in their place. 

Thinking of treatment or early recovery as a vacation might sound far-fetched, but it can be a relief to let others be in charge for a while and see what outcomes you get. 

Let someone else be the driver for a change. Sit back, enjoy the ride, and know that those trying to help you understand the road ahead – they’ve traveled it themselves. The answers and solutions they give you might help you when you take back the reins of power in your life. Rarely does someone give incorrect directions to promote change. Why would they bother giving you inaccurate suggestions so you could come back and tell them they were wrong?

Treatment providers, sponsors/accountability partners, courts, governing agencies, and other people in recovery give you directions to change and improve your life circumstances.  

  1. They may tell you what educators in recovery find helpful. 
  2. Often they will tell you about their life examples that correspond to your situation. 
  3. They may quote a reference from recovery-oriented workbooks. 
  4. They will give you assignments designed to help you become introspective and look at your shortcomings, strengths, or limitations.

 

Trust the Process

 

You have nothing to lose by following the directions.   

You might find solutions for your substance abuse problem, as well as improving your relationships, money management skills, or learning to be accountable and responsible. 

When you relinquish your entitled attitudes and stop trying to rule the world, you'll learn from others, and when you do get back in control of your life, you can rule it better. Click To Tweet

 

 

 

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