By: Rev. Dr. Kevin T. Coughlin
Addiction: Secrets, Shame, and Slights
Did I Really Do That?
- Those who are bullied.
- Those who are different.
- Those who think they don’t measure up.
- Those growing up in broken homes.
- Kids and parents who are gay.
- People with mental illness.
- People with addiction problems.
- People who think that they’re weak.
- People who are ashamed.
Secrets breed shame and sickness! I’ve been working in the addiction field for the past two decades and am also an Ordained Reverend. I have heard and seen the damage that secrets and shame can do in the lives of those who don’t find ways to get honest and cope. Just like hurt and fear grow into anger and then resentment and ultimately rage, secrets grow into guilt and shame and then toxic shame. For those of us who have been hurt, it’s hard to trust again but we must.
- We can practice by letting one small secret go.
- Then test the waters and see what happens.
- If all goes well, we can let more secrets go.
Can I Trust You and Tell You What I Did?
- You have to learn to trust again.
- Honesty is crucial.
- It’s important to grow spiritually.
- Meeting makers make it only if they work it.
- “You are only as sick as your secrets!”
- Take more risks.
- Be more open-minded.
- Everyone isn’t out to get me! (Some may be)
- It’s alright just to be me!